Wednesday, 19 November 2008

His Masters Voice


The Boys have allowed me a slot in their Blog.Ithink its' important, especially if you are about to obtain a Basset, or Bassay as the hounds prefer me to call them. The Boys are not my first Bassays but it is some time since I have had an ASBO s, sorry pup. ( For any international readers an ASBO means Anti Social Behaviour Order - they are imposed by the Courts to restrict the lives on others who create havoc in one form or another). Says it all really.
Being a glutten for punishment I have two Bassay Asbo's ( sorry Boys). My day goes something like this:


Boys go to bed, faces of angels, much cooing and 'aaaahhing.'
Boys cuddle up and nuzzle each other.
Boys snore and generally smooch each other. Again aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, bless.
Boys stir
Boys get up ( start recording programme I am watching knowing I will miss it otherwise )
Have the Rolls Royce of puppy pee pads on floor.
Lewis gets up wanders to front door pees on rug - 12 feet from pad.
Me " Oh bugger"
Lewis " Heh heh"
Monty gets up.
I get mop.
Monty eats mop.
Lewis laughs so much pees again.
Mop floor with Monty attached to mop.
Monty laughs.
Monty pees on floor.
Both boys now attached to mop.
Return mop to bucket (back turned).
Monty poos in kitchen.
Lewis poos in my slipper.
Monty laughs.
Lewis laughs and stands in poo in my slipper, runs off.
Monty chases and slips in poo stepped in by Lewis and spread to floor
I have a drink.
Place Bassays in garden.
Clean up poo, can't wear my slippers ( cos of poo) slip in poo in bare feet.
Bassys back (now muddy) laugh at poo in bewteen my toes.
Bassays step in water bowl, mud now liquidised. 
Boys go back to bed, I scrape poo out of slipper, change water in mop bucket, clean floor, change boys water wipe their paws. Boys asleep.
I make cofffee sit down boys get up, boys pee etc etc !

I am however trying my best to instill some discipline and training in the household. Today the Kray twins learnt that they can completely ignore me.

Me " Okay you are really good boys, SIT."
Lewis " Is he talking to us?"
Monty" Bloody hope not"
Lewis " Shall we mooch into bathroom and empty the bin?"
Monty " Jolly good idea, you get used loo roll, I'll get the old Bic razor that'll REALLY scare him"
Me " Boys do you want a treat?"
Lewis " Do you reckon its on of them dry old things?"
Monty " Yeah, lets go and lick the shower cubicle instead"
Lewis "Can I do the toliet bowl?"
Monty "My pleasure."

Phone goes.

Me " Hello"
Caller "How are the dogs."
Me "They are fantastic, SUCH good boys!"

BUT.... and its a very BIG but. They are fantastic, funnier than a funny thing and as my mate Pete calls them, they are "COMEDY DOGS!"

No comments: