Sunday, 12 September 2010

We all love a party...........

September the 12th 2010 saw the hounds reach their second birthday. We could all barely contain our excitement. This excitement is obviously reflected in the photograph opposite. This snap was taken during the height of activities.

Pass the parcel did however dwindle very quickly after the hounds decided that the content wasn't worth the effort of tearing off the paper.

Musical chairs was also a bit of a wash out as they decided they could both occupy the same seat very happily ( a la photo). It must have been the hounds waking up at the crack of dawn (08.5o am) that caused the sheer exhaustion at the end of their party.

So they are now two years old. Isn't that supposed to mean 14 in 'dog years' whatever that is supposed to mean. 'In dog years.' Quite how this is worked out I'll never know. It was obviously invented by some dog obsessed 'Doggy person' wearing a fleece with a picture of a tigers head on it ( see earlier Blogs). Anyhow I think its a load of old cobblers. My family have had several dogs all living to 14~15 years. This equates to 98~105 years old. One 'adopted' old collie we had lived to the ripe old aged of 18 years (126 years).

Do mutts really enjoy this longevity ? I doubt it. I am sure that smarty pants with a degree in "social science or human resources" or some equally worthless academic qualification will put me right, but there you go. All the police are being made redundant aren't they ? I am therefore sure that there will be no PC Pc to chase me for upsetting Tarquin who has just qualified from Doncaster Polytechnic as an " H R assistant assistant to the temporary manager." I have decided to write to the PM whilst on this subject. Sack all HR staff, save millions. They can all be replaced with the " Google Button ."

Simply type in "Employment Law ~ what I need to know."

HEY PRESTO ! All HR staff dispensed with.

As usual I digress. My two lumps should now ( according to Tarquin) be 14 years old. Okay they are never going to play an X Box or study for a GCSE but if they are now 'teenagers' shouldn't they be doing the teenage thing? I don't mean smoking or drinking Stella. No I was thinking more about seeking a bit of independence, a desire to go out and or demonstrating some degree of intelligence ?

I am sure that my two are suffering the "terrible twos" associated usually with human off spring. They appear to have partially digressed into some puppy like state. Monty in particular appears to developing a whole new personality. During a recent trip 'up north' to my folks we shared a marvellous Sunday roast of slow cooked beef. Given that the hounds are about 6 inches high ( albeit twelve feet long), they struggle to get up to anything higher than a coffee table. We sat talking in the living room whilst I contemplated a couple more slices of tender beef ( and perhaps another Yorkshire?). Lewis was asleep and Monty was 'mooching.' My Dad wandered out to the kitchen:~

" Kirks ( my Dad has always called Mam this), where's the beef."
"Its in the kitchen."
"Where it always is , on then chopping board on the bench."
"Its not"
"What do you meant its not?"
" Its not where you said"
" It is.."
"Its not...."

and so on........

It was at this point I noticed Monty licking constantly. He was also belching continuously. Lewis wandered over to him and began continually licking and sniffing Monty's face.

To be continued...............