Thursday, 27 November 2008

People in Glasshouses


We had a rather intersting day yesterday. Lewis and I were placed in the camp yard for 'eeblueshuns' as father calls it. We were rather impressed with the perimter fence until we discovered that by placing Lewis's more than substantial a**e against it, the whole thing flops and bends like limp cardboard. ( Talk about Jerry built). Sadly Lewis has the IQ of a damp Boneo biscuit so it takes some time to realise what is actually required. Anyhow we were allowed out for prisoner association and we promptly flopped over fence and made good our escape. Lewis looked a little stunned and decided to lie in the grass,fart and lick his bum. I managed to convince him the severity of the situation as the main guard was heading toward us. Undeterred we made good our escape toward the greenhouse. As we neared this building on the oustkirts of the camp I noticed there was a terrible comotion inside. Tools were being sent flying plants were shaking and windows were being banged. The gaurd (father) shouted "BURGLARS." He ran back to the main camp looking rather exciteable. Now given his association with law enforcement I imagined he would emerge with a variety of weapons from expandable batons, to CS gas to handcuffs. No................. he emerged holding a rolling pin.     

He overtook us heading straight for the 'burglars' in  the greenhouse. As he reached the door he raised his baton (rolling pin) in the approved manner and shouted "Police." Sadly the two grey squirrels fightying inside the greehouse did not understand this. One lept at him whilst the other continued trashing the greenhouse. He screamed like a small child, dropped the rolling pin on his toe ( left exposed by the flip flop hanging on the cardboard fence). His attention then turned to Lewis & I.
He muttered something about " Oh the dogs, squirrels, rabies, mad cow disease, bird flu etc " and promptly picked up us both and dunped us in the compound. He collected his flip flop and returned to the greenhouse. So did Lewis and I ( fence REALLY is hopeless). Second squirel now mounts roof of greenhouse blows a raspeberry at Father and makes good his escape.   


Had brill day. Me and Monty escaped and dad chased some rabbits with big tails. Dad said we might get 'babies' from them and was very cross. Found some of their poo, it tastes like hazelnuts. Cool. Monty makes me sleep on the fence and it falls over. He Heh ! Dad chased the rabbits with  stick thing and thought they were burgers or somat. See yah soon , gotta go and see a German fella who puts needles in me bum. 

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