Tuesday, 18 November 2008

The Cooler Kings

Well construction is complete. Father has installed a perimeter fence that has completely foiled any attempt at escape. It is absolutely huge, I would say at least 8 inches high. I peer through at once was. The plants, the trees and the leaves. I am hoping that I may get a work detail to collect wood from 'the outside.' Failing that I have started 'Tom, Dick and Harry.' I 'm having some problems with the soil but I find that shuffling it to one side with my ears is starting to pay dividends. Food remains much the same and any attempt at bribing the guards has so far proved fruitless. I received one parcel into the hut but was disappointed to find that it was in fact "A bloody Bill."  Or that was what father called  it. I thought it was very helpful of Monty and I to open it but apparentely he thought otherwise. Monty and I desperately need wood for 'shoring up.' We have decided to utilise a wooden chair in the main hut. Sadly it is taking some time to take apart and is made more difficult by the guards constantly re-positioning us and shouting "leave it." We are collecting anything we can to aid our escape. We will obviously need disguises. I intend to dress as german Sheperd to confuse the guards. So far we have two odd socks, a blanket, an old slipper and a tea towel.  Monty is working on the dye, but the only colours he can muster at present are yellow and brown. Must go guards coming.................... .


Day 1 - Camp Hound.

Cave has finished open prison. Pushed my hooter at various points but it just won't give. Tried to get matey with guards but they 're havin' none of it. Godber (Lewis) is still sharing a Peter with me. Managed to hide a tin of pineapple chunks and a tin of shoe polish but thats it at the mo.' Got hauled in front of the Guvnor yesterday for what he called an "in see dent." Apparently SUM ONE has removed a UB40 album from the prison library and returned it damaged. I reckon i've bin grassed and told Guv so. He was 'avin none of it and naffing confined me to me bed. So far i've 'ad me bleedin priv liches removed and reduced to 3 good boy snacks a day.
Two weeks and a jab to parole !!!.......................................................

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