Clean sweep....

Why is it every time I update the hound' diary it inevitably  involves the very particular odour given off by basset Hounds. It can't just be my two can it? It seems that whenever I meet fellow Basset owners the discussion invariably ends up comparing pongs. I have decided to collate a few of the comments and post them (in no particular order). 

"My hound lies in front of our log burner. After about 15 minutes he begins to smell like cheese." (Presumably like Bavarian smoked cheese or similar?)

"***** smells a bit like road kill on a hot sunny day."

"They can't help it, its all the folds of skin, it kind of collects odours and keeps them. Keeps them until you have guests around and they move off the settee to greet them......."

"They seem to revel in giving off that 'special smell.' So special that I have shares in a perfumed candle company."

They can't help it. When you are twenty three feet long and six inches high, it is very easy to scoop up whatever has been deposited. I have tried several "pooch pampering" venues with mixed success. The hounds absolutely love it wherever they are taken but one or two members of staff have looked aghast when I have led them in. I have found a new outlet that I tried at the weekend. Determined that any perfumed hound odour must be retained as long a possible I created the correct environment with military precision. I collected freshly laundered bedding and ensured that it was suitably bagged and kept some distance from the hounds for the outward journey. The outward journey was the same old whiffy bedding and odours that they were very comfortable with ! They seem to revel in pongs that they have got used to.

Leading them into the parlour there were two poodles being coiffured on tables.The disdain on their long faces  was clear for all to see.

" Tarquin they appear to be letting anyone in here these days, what on earth are those two?"

"Darling I think they may be dwarf blood hounds Jeremy..."

"Oh yes I can see that now. Goodness they smell dreadful I think they may have being living rough."    

Undeterred Monty and Lewis mooched into the parlour like they owned the place. Owners were grabbing Foo Foo Trixie Belles type small dogs ensuring that they were well away from the hounds. Not through any fear of attack by the hounds ( which would never happen anyway), more through a fear that the hounds may get too close and a bit of whiff would rub off on their posh pooches. Lewis took a particular shine to a Yorkshire Terrier and sat all gooey eyed staring at her. I think it was the red ribbon tied in a bow on her head. She was about the same size of one of his ears but this clearly had not put him off.

I was instructed that it would take about an hour and a half and that I could leave the hounds. Leave them? I would have to drag them away. As usual they barely glanced at me when I left!

Two pints later (I mean an hour later), I returned to collect them. Lewis looked like a giant ginger ball of fluff. They both smelt wonderful. I mean it was hardly an Yves Saint Lauren Shampoo smell. It was more akin to a sort of recently cleaned carpet smell. You know, that stuff you spray on as a foam ,let it dry and hoover off. No matter! It was still a clean smell!

I placed my freshly laundered bedding in the back of the car so that I could ensure the maximum length of time before their old pongs returned. They mooched and shuffled about like they had no idea where they were. Their old pongs had gone and they simply could not 'compute' that this was their new world for as long as it may last. 

At this moment in time I am only walking the dogs on pavements and roads. They still smell so good at this time that they are mooching about like they don't recognise each other..............