Sunday, 16 November 2008






Father has decided that a small fence and light shingle area would be appropriate. Yesterday we remained in the garden for some considerable period of time, whilst he made several journeys to the car. He collected a variety of products that I suspect may be involved in the construction of some sort of hound camp. I decided that it would be very helpful to show my approval by urinating on any and all items placed on the ground. Father seemed a little perturbed by this and said something about us being “little bar stands.”

Both parents introduced a rather simple game during the day. Mother has collected a tub of rather dry ‘treats.’ I use the term loosely as they taste somewhat akin to a toe nail left out in the sun. When she feels the need to call or otherwise attract our attention she rattles the toe nails and calls in a rather alarmingly high pitched voice. I am given to understand that I should then waddle in her general direction like some grounded racing pigeon and accept said ‘reward’ (toe nail). I allowed her one or two of these ‘come to mummy’ then I frankly got bored. I found a rather attractive clump of bamboo and decided to catch forty winks.



Cave put us in the garden yesterday. He also brought loads of bags of little stones. I think he is building an open hound prison. He got fence things, wood and everything. Lewis said we had a relative die in a similar camp. Apparently he fell out of the watch tower. Cave put stones down for ages. I had a proper mooch. Managed to find a peg, loads of leaves, a piece of carrier bag, twigs, a tent peg ,pair of the old man’s y-fronts that had come off the line, a flip flop, old firework and a  bamboo cane.  They all tasted minging. Funny though, he wouldn’t let me eat any of ‘em. I did manage to stand in one of me bruv’s poos and wipe it off on dad’s trousers. Mum said he wasn’t allowed in the house.

I  also now have a brilliant new game. Its’ called “find a plant that mum really likes and lie down it till it goes all weak and wobbly and probably won’t eva grow again game.” So far I’ve done it to a Bampoo plant an Arthur choke plant and one Mum called “get off little s**t plant.” The best bit is when we get picked up and re-located. This is really clever  ‘cos it actually saves me walking to the next one.

Mum has started rattlin’ a little pot when we are in the garden. I dunno wot its’ all about but when I go and have a look I get a little eaty thing.  I am training Mum really well.

I am hoping that I will have trained them both soon cos neither are pooin’ in the garden yet!

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